My link to comprehensive safer sex information

More open talk about sex is always a good thing. While most people around the world support comprehensive sexuality education, Bush and his religious right buddies are more interested in promoting abstinence at home and abroad. So, with no funding of our own to speak of, we're doing our best to give you the honest, non-judgmental, and sexually explicit information you are looking for.

"Safe Sex" is hard to define- we all have our own definitions for "safe" and "sex". For our purposes, we're going to use to use the term "safer", to recognize that that their is a continuum of risk, rather than a clear answer to what is safe and what is not. Safer sex techniques are those which reduce the risk of passing sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV. Any time there is direct contact between your body and someone else's, there is potential for the spread of infection. One way to prevent the spread of infections is to use a latex barrier such as a condom. Other people avoid penetration and explore other forms of sexuality.

"Sex" itself means different things to different people, but in general we will use it to mean contact between naked bodies in an experience that leads to sexual pleasure, which includes but is not limited to penetration (fucking). We consider sex to include any practice that a person finds erotic and sexually exciting.

While safer sex is mostly thought of in terms of preventing the spread of HIV, there are many sexually transmitted infections out there that we may seek to avoid, and they can be spread in a variety of different ways. We want you to have the information you need to be able to protect yourself. We also want you to have the type of sexual experience where you feel empowered to do that, so please don't forget to visit mysexlifeonline's pro-sex activism page.

Pre-Sex: Check the expiration dates on your condoms. Keep your condoms in a convenient spot so they're around when you need them. Don't store condoms in a glove compartment or your wallet where they can get hot and deteriorate.

1. Carefully open the condom package, being careful not to damage the condom itself. Avoid all contact between penis and vagina, anus or moth before the condom is put on.

Put a few drops of water-based lubricant inside the tip of the condom.

2. Put the condom on the tip of the erect penis. If you are not circumcised (if you're uncut), pull the foreskin back to expose the tip of the penis (the glans).

3. Put a few drops of water-based lubricant* inside the tip of the condom.

4. Squeeze the tip of the condom to leave some extra space and then roll the rest down the shaft. Once the shaft is covered, push the foreskin forward (toward the tip). This lets the foreskin move without breaking the condom.

5. Put more water-based lubricant of the outside of the condom.*

Put more water-based lubricant of the outside of the condom.

6. Enjoy your sexual act. (sorry, no picture for that...)

After you come, hold the base of the condom and pull out.

7. After you come, hold the base of the condom and pull out while the penis is still erect. Tie the condom up at the base so that the cum doesn't spill out.

8. Throw the condom away (be careful with flushing condoms down the toilet- they often get stuck); don't reuse condoms. Use a new condom every time you have sex.

*Lubricants reduce friction, but make sure yours is water-based, and does NOT contain Nonoxynol-9.

Latex condoms ("rubbers") prevent HIV infection and other STIs when used correctly. Using a condom may not always be easy, but it can save your life or someone else's. When used correctly, condoms seldom break, tear, or slip. You can also use dry or flavored condoms for oral sex, or make your own "dental dam" by cutting a condom and opening it up to use for oral-anal or oral-vaginal sex. Never re-use a condom, and if you're having sex with more than one person at once, use a new condom with each person.

Sometimes when we're having sex, a condom breaks or slips off. Because of this we advise you to check that your condom is still in tact from time to time during the sex act. Using dual-protection (condoms plus the pill) is one strategy to reduce the change of pregnancy if the condom breaks. If the unavoidable occurs and you are worried about HIV infection or pregnancy, the links below can tell you more about your options. The sooner you act, the more that can be done!

Learn about post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to prevent HIV infection (must be used shortly after sex act, not fully researched, or easily accessible in some places);

Dental dams are plastic or latex squares that you put over a vagina or anus to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections when performing oral sex on a woman or having oral-anal sex (rimming). They can be found at some adult shops or purchased online. Because dental dams are pricey and hard to come by, some people find it easier to use a large sheet of plastic wrap. When using a dam or plastic wrap, make sure it covers the entire vulva (clitoris and vaginal opening) or anus and that you hold it at both edges. Be careful not to turn the dam or plastic wrap inside-out while you use it.

The "female condom", or "internal condom" is a plastic sheath that can be used for anal or vaginal sex for protection against HIV (although it has not been thoroughly tested or approved for use during anal sex). The female condom can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, has rings at both ends to hold it in place, and can be lubricated with oil-based lubricants that stay wet longer. This kind of condom takes practice to use, and is more expensive than a latex condom.

Having information about safer sex does not mean we always practice it. The real world is complicated, and talking to our partners about the types of sex we want to have is no easy task. Sometimes we might decide that having sex without a barrier is more meaningful or important to us than preventing a disease. Sometime we might not use them because of force or for other complicated reasons.

While keeping condoms convenient and making safer sex fun are helpful in some cases, sometimes we are in situations where condom use might not be quite as easy to negotiate. Some of us are in relationships where we might not feel like we have enough power to get our partner to use a condom. Some of us might be too fucked up on drugs or alcohol to be able to make good decisions about sex. Addressing the contexts in which people make safer sex decisions is key to stopping the spread of diseases like HIV/AIDS.

It's important to recognize that promoting safer sex means more than promoting comprehensive sexuality education. We also need to promote gender equity and fight domestic violence. We need to create economic opportunities for people who have no choice but to have sex to survive. We need to fight against homophobia and anti-sex attitudes that make people ashamed of the sex they are having. Visit our action alerts page to do your part to fight for sexual rights!

the coalition for positive sexuality, safersex.org, gay men's health crisis, stop aids/ SF, and sexuality.org.